Things I WISH I had learned in Culinary School

This is going to be a little free-form writing exercise to get myself back in the habit of, you know, being a contributing member of society. But since I have the free time and the internet connection- I thought I might muse a bit on a few points I really *really* wish had been made more abundantly clear to me before I had started this whole thing.

1. The hot chick in my high-school german class who sat across the room who said she was into cooking didn't really mean "hey, if you're a chef you can get into my pants"

That is totally more my fault than anything, and I really *really* should've put less focus on how lonely I was and more on like, what I'm actually good at.

But I AM good at cooking, so there's that - and okay, there is definitely a whole lot of bonin' going on in the industry, but I spend so much time between work and side projects that I really never had time to take part in it, plus it is *ALWAYS* awkward to have to deal with people who are screwing at work. Just saying that.

2. Working with different chefs is a lot more like dating than it should be.

Seriously, and when the Chef I'm working for is a lady it adds a whole new sort of sub-dom sexy dynamic that invariably pops up in my head and totally works against me. I am just a shitty person like that.

But regardless of gender you can pretty much break down every chef i've worked with into similar genres of ex-girlfriends.

- That one where you were kind of doing it but really had no idea and everything was stupid. 

- The first serious one that taught you a whole lot and it ended weird but you still kind of remember it fondly even though you were a young idiot and screwed everything up.

- Bad rebound.

- The one that got away, that you like learned tons from and like things from and just like connected with man, and then she freakin' moved to Chicago and you're like "you'll still call me, right baby?"

- The one that you knew wasn't a great idea, but you're like "I can make this work" and you stick with them for way, way, way too long and they dump you anyway.

- That like, weird open phase where you've got a few things going on but they all sort of all know you're not committed to any of them.

- The one that keeps farting on you.