Chicken Psuedo-Italiano

I don’t like dark meat.

That’s not me channeling my inner John Mayer, I genuinely am not a fan of dark meat chicken. That’s not that uncommon, I suppose. Go to any KFC or Popeyes and invariably they seem to be short on white meat. That’s a travesty to foodie types, the dark meat has all the more developed flavor, the more tender and more flavorful meat, the higher fat content and better marbling - I mean, the people who eat white meat must be into dry flavorless crap. Yeah. Probably. White meat chicken is sort of your generic all-purpose meat. Everyone loves it (They even said so on The Onion ) but it does tend to get overcooked and try and basically abused. Still doesn’t diminish the fact that I just plain don’t particularly care for dark meat. There are too many bones, too much cartilage, and the color just seems off too me. Now, at one point in my life I loved dark meat. Chicken legs were the best thing ever when I was a kid - I could eat them… and come to think of it I did, that was probably a contributing factor to my own kinda sorta big weight problem as a kid. (…and also kinda sorta big weight problem still now today sorta)  but at one point it just switched off. It was too hard (as an uneducated child) to tell the difference texturally between tender, well cooked dark meat and the undercooked stuff. I started to hate the little bone in the side of the chicken leg, and I hated having to deal with thigh meat. It was just turned blah in an instant.

A lot of my time since beginning to my whole culinary experience deal that you see going on here I’ve been fighting with myself over preconceived notions about how food should be. I grew up on Hardees and General Tso’s Chicken. The ethnic food I was exposed to as a child was either German and British - two cuisines which have been wound so tightly in with American cuisine that at certain points become indistinguishable… or it was the sort of Betty Crocker pseudo-home-cooking designed for bored housewives from the pages of Readers Digest. The first thing I ate that I think most people would consider weird was a Cicada in 2004. Since then I’ve tried to expose myself to a wide variety of foods, but I still keep coming back to dark meat chicken as a stumbling block.

So it was with a great deal of trepidation that I found myself staring down a kitchen devoid of meat except for chicken legs and thighs today. It’s what I had to work with, so I came up with something. Admittedly I took a lot of shortcuts, used some ingredients that most of the foodie community would view with a great deal of derision, but I came up with something - and even though it used a lot of those same bored housewife skillset, it passed the first test (I didn‘t go blind) plus, it tasted alright.

So I thought I could share it with you, my  closest … umm… internet readers.

Chicken Cacciatore:

The Ingredients:

1 Small Onion - Small Dice
1 Medium Italian Green Chili Pepper - Small Dice
2 TBSP Olive Oil
½ CUP Tomato Paste
1 TBSP Minced Basil
1 TBSP Minced Oregano
1 TBSP Thyme
1 TBSP Minced Parsley
2 TBSP Minced Garlic
2 TSP Celery Salt
4 Chicken Thighs
4 Chicken Legs
32 OZ. Water

The Process:

1) French the Chicken Legs

Oh, wouldn’t it be witty if I said “no, don’t kiss them?”
What I really want you to do is take a paring knife, Slice at an angle perpendicular to the length of the leg, Cut down to the bone entirely around the circumference of the leg. Separate all the connective tissue, and scrape the bone so there is about ¼ inch of the bone visible.

2) Sweat the Onion and the Pepper in the Olive Oil over medium-heat.
3) Add the Herbs, Garlic, and Celery Salt. Stir.
4) Add the Tomato Paste. Stir
5) Add the Chicken
6) Add the Water
7) Increase the heat to high, Bring to a boil.
8) Once the water begins to boil, reduce to a simmer.
9) Cook for anywhere between 2 to 5 hours, until tender. If the sauce begins to dry up, just add more water. If you want to be fancy, you could also use a white wine (Chablis would be my choice)
10) Serve over pasta, rice, or potatoes.