THE BACON CONUNDRUM: PART III

I like regular-ass Bacon. As much as I like Rashers, Speck, Pancetta, and all that jazz - nothing beats a couple (dozen) slices of salted smoked pork belly for breakfast. It’s who I am. Pancetta is a Ferrari, sure, but I really just want to get my hands on a Dodge Charger. For the longest time I didn’t know how restaurants got their bacon flat and crisp like they did. Whenever I would cook it at home it would crinkle up into odd little shapes, and I would overcook it on one side and leave it practically raw on the other. Before I went to culinary school I basically failed at bacon. Of course now I realize it’s a pretty simple process to make restaurant quality bacon just lay it out on a sheet pan lined with parchment paper and bake it at 300 degrees for 10-15 minutes (depending on thickness.) This method is great for reserving the bacon grease and for cooking your bacon uniformly - but lately I’ve gone back to pan-frying bacon. It just saves time when I’m adding it to something else. Bacon is the product that started it all, but that doesn’t mean people don’t abuse the gift from that “wonderful, magical animal” that provides us with pork chops, ham, and bacon.

THE BAD:

CANNED TACTICAL BACON.

(IMG SRC = THINK GEEK)

Available at Think Geek: http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/c399/

I don’t really need to go over all the things that are awful about this concept - so allow me to point out one giant flaw in this marketing premise: BACON IS ALREADY DESIGNED TO LAST A LONG TIME. SALTING AND SMOKING IS HOW THEY PRESERVED MEAT BEFORE REFRIGERATION.

If you want a more detailed description of just how awful this particular branch of the bacon tree is - check out this old AV Club review: http://www.avclub.com/

THE GOOD:

BACON MAPLE DONUT

(IMG SRC: WIKIPEDIA)

The big daddy of the Bacon Donut is Voodoo Donuts: http://www.voodoodoughnut.com/

Or you could look for one 'em in NYC

Have you ever eaten Chicken and Waffles? This is the same concept. Sugar, Carbs, Fat, Salt, and Meat. It’s everything delicious ever. I really don’t have to say much more. It’s using Bacon the way it’s meant to be used.

I promise the next one of these will be the last...